Wednesday, May 28, 2008
life
Posted by DeMoN HunTeR at 11:30 PM 1 comments
Labels: background, black, life, wallpaper, wallpapers
Thursday, May 8, 2008
ABCD
The bookstore has dozens of books that teach children the alphabet. Some do it through popular characters such as Big Bird and Elmo, others by showing everyday life: 'F' is always for 'Firefighter,' 'K' is for 'Kite,' and 'O' is for 'Outsourcing.' Then there's one that's rather popular in the big city, written by a mother to help her children understand their father's drug and alcohol problems:
A is for 'Arrest.' It's what the police do when they take Daddy away; he gets to ride in a cool car and doesn't have to pay.
B is for 'Bail.' It's the money we pay to get Daddy out of jail; it's the reason the pawn shop has Mommy's ring for sale.
C is for 'Crime.' It's what Daddy does to pay for food, toilet paper and soap; he'd get a regular job if he wasn't such a dope.
D is for 'Drugs.' Daddy isn't a pharmacist, but he's sold many drugs; he isn't a model, but he's posed for many mugs.
E is for 'Escape.' That's what Daddy's always trying to do; breaking out of prison or smoking a joint or two.
F is for 'Fool.' Applying for work, Daddy listed his previous job as 'felon'; those drugs have turned his brain into a watermelon.
G is for 'Government." Daddy blames them for all his woes, not all that stuff he puts up his nose.
H is for 'Hunk.' When Mommy married Daddy, he was such a hunk; then he took drugs and everything shrunk.
I is for 'Inadequate.' It's what Daddy feels when they lock him up; his cellmate expects him to wear a D-cup.
J is for 'Judgment.' It's how Daddy's time in prison is often spent, trying to figure out what the judge meant.
K is for 'Kilogram.' That's how much cocaine Daddy hid in his pants; he looked like a stud, but only at first glance.
L is for 'Love.' It's the reason Mommy stays with Daddy through thick and thin; the reason Daddy's always kissing his bottle of gin.
M is for 'Marriage.' It's a word Daddy sometimes mixes up with 'Marijuana'; he tried to buy it on our honeymoon in Tijuana.
N is for 'Nearsighted.' Daddy's always nearsighted, seeking short-term gain; if he thought about our future, he'd short-circuit his brain.
O is for 'Orange.' It's what Daddy wears when he's on the prison crew, the only time in life he's brighter than you.
P is for 'Probation.' It's what Daddy got when he committed his first crime, a good opportunity to do it another time.
Q is for 'Quarter.' Daddy tried to sell some crack to a Fed; that's because he used only a quarter of his head.
R is for 'Remorse.' It's what Daddy's expected to show during his trial; when the charges are listed, Mommy wishes he wouldn't smile.
S is for 'Swearing.' It's those four-letter words Daddy likes to use, especially on those nights when he runs out of booze.
T is for 'Testimony.' It's what those people say about Daddy in court; it's like getting an 'F' on a school report.
U is for 'Underachiever.' Daddy hasn't achieved much in his life so far, unless you count those drinking contests at the bar.
V is for 'Visitation.' It's the quality time you spend with Daddy in jail, when he tells you his dinner tastes like uncooked snail.
W is for 'Withdrawal.' It's what Daddy goes through when he hasn't had drugs in a day; he withdraws to the shed and tries to smoke some hay.
X is for 'X-ray.' Once, at the airport, they put Daddy through the x-ray; you'd be amazed what they found under his toupee.
Y is for 'Year.' Daddy had a job for a year in the slammer; he made license plates for the state of Alabama.
Z is for 'Zero.' That's the amount of joy Daddy's drugs have brought; if he were a trash man, we'd be smiling a lot.
Posted by DeMoN HunTeR at 6:20 AM 0 comments
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
updating
Posted by DeMoN HunTeR at 10:56 PM 1 comments
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Posted by DeMoN HunTeR at 11:55 AM 2 comments
dAmN iT..>.>..
tooo bad...
my computer is infected.
tadaaa
reallyy funnyy.... too funny i forgot to laugh.......
booooo
actually it was my sister hu did this.
she logged into a game site and blah blah blah........
anyway..
im toooo mad to talk abt it.
and.................
urgh.
neva mind
bye
cyaa tc
wish me luck...
im formatting da computer..
good bye blogger cya in a year or sumthing
damn it u stupid sis u %$#@ *^$@!~ &^%#**#&@$#
alrite alrite
im fine
juss calm down
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Posted by DeMoN HunTeR at 4:02 AM 0 comments